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A fun little bit of flash fiction to help you through the start of the week*

They say that retail therapy is good for you.

I suppose that at some point in their lives everyone has mindlessly indulged in a spending spree with the sole purpose of self gratification. For a few brief moments they allow themselves to go a little crazy with no regard for the consequences. They spend the rent, or the weekly shopping money or some other sum of cash that was earmarked for something important. Just for that chance to forget about their worries and woes they splurge and consequences be damned.

It saved my last relationship you know.

Honestly, I’m not lying.

There was a girl; isn’t that how all the best stories start? We were young and foolish and in love and in the beginning everything was perfect.

But then something changed.

Maybe it was her, maybe it was me, or perhaps it was the world around us. I’m not sure really how it happened; only that it did. There was no single moment or event that you could point your finger at and say “That’s when it all went wrong” it was a gradual process. We went from happy to complacent to miserable; one state of being flowing effortlessly into another. I used to argue with her all the time; about my hair, my weight, my lack of a job, anything and everything would set her off on another endless rant. Nothing I did was good enough, everyone else she knew was better than me. That sort of thing can get you down, especially if it begins when you wake up and rarely slows down until you fall asleep again at night.

So I indulged myself and went on a shopping spree.

Of course the shiny new shovel I brought set her off on another lengthy tirade. She went on and on and on, her voice rising and falling like the swells of the ocean, reaching an almost tsunami like state of verbal abuse. Right up until I hit her in the head with my recent purchase; clang, thud, argument over. Then I used the shovel to bury her in the basement; problem solved.

We almost never argue any more, and when we do she very rarely wins.




*Retail Therapy may have previously seen the light of day via Tumblr