I’m suffering from a mild case of trauma at the moment.

Nothing bad has happened, nobody is ill or dead. Nevertheless I had some news today that’s thrown me.

It’s hard to put my finger on the “why” exactly – but I have a feeling that I know – it’s all about how everything changes, how nothing stays the same.

I was chatting to my dad in the phone earlier and he told me that he’s been getting his house fixed up – new guttering and fascias, solar panels, even a new garage. Then he told me that he’s had a tree choped down in his garden.

That’s not a big deal right? Trees get chopped down all the time.

This one was a bit different.
When my mom and dad first moved into the house well over forty years ago there was almost no street, let alone an estate there, and they planted a pine cone in the back garden.

The cone grew and grew.

From the time I was a kid I remember the fir tree in our garden. I climbed it often enough, working my way higher and higher in the branches until I could see for what felt like miles. I fell out of it more than a few times and cut and scraped myself on its bark more times than I care to recall.

The tree grew and grew until it eventually towered above the house roof. It was trimmed time and again over the years.

That tree was a constant of my childhood – heck it was a constant of my adulthood too. You could see it from streets away – it was part of the landscape and now its gone.

That’s the bit I can’t quite wrap my head around. How can something that big, that permanent suddenly be gone? Nothing is constant – not even the universe. The earth will eventually die, the sun will go nova and eat a large portion of our solar syatem in its death throes. But that tree…I thought that tree would always be there; I guess in my head it always will.